Uncle Bob on the Redneck Wedding from Hell.
first hand account.
The groom wore camoflage.
You can buy The Redneck Wedding Planner.
Redneck Wedding Etiquette
- Livestock is usually a poor choice for a wedding gift.
- Its is not okay for the groom to bring a date to a wedding.
- When dancing, never remove undergarments, no matter how hot it is.
- A bridal veil made of window screen is not only cost effective but also a proven fly deterrent.
- For the groom: at least rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a natty appearance.
Though uncomfortable, say yes to socks and shoes for this special occasion.
TOP 10 SIGNS YOU'RE AT A REDNECK WEDDING
9. Instead of "Friends of the bride or friends of the groom?" ushers ask "Ford Or Chevy?"
8. Bridesmaids: Pink Tube Tops
Groomsmen: Travis Tritt T-Shirts
7. Phrase "I Do" replaced by "I Heard That"
6. Tender rendition of "The Wedding Song" performed by Pinkard & Bowden
5. When the minister asks "Who giveth this woman to be married"... some guy in the back stands up and hollers "Earnhardt!"
4. Reception conversation includes the phrase, "So what have you been doing since Hee Haw, Mr. Lindsay?"
3. Snack trays at reception: Vienna sausages and Nacho Cheese Doritos
....And The Number One Way To Tell If You're At A Redneck Wedding...
Sign in front of the church: No Shirt... No Shoes... No Problem!
One important hallmark of a redneck wedding is the bridesmaids dresses. They have to be extremely ugly. This can happen at any wedding, as most bridesmaids know. See some of the worst at The Dress Incinerator, and at Ugly Dress.
Some pretty redneckish shenanigans going on at these weddings!
(click to enlarge)
THE GUN SHOP
A man came into a gun shop and asked to see a shotgun. The clerk, seeing that the customer was well-dressed and probably had a well-padded pocketbook, showed him a Belgian handcrafted mother of pearl inlay weapon and Demonstrated its fine points. A bargain at $12,000.
The customer says, "No, not quite what I need."
Then the clerk brings out an English model and shows off its fine points. A steal at only $7,500.
The customer says, "No, I don't need anything that fancy."
The clerk, disappointed, shows the customer a Winchester 'over and under' mass production model. Only $299.95.
Thought for today: A shotgun wedding is a case of wife or death.
PS: The guys at File It Under are having a contest for the most creative punishment for spammers. Cash prizes!